Make a Difference
In our culture, disrespect is often encouraged and applauded. Think of fan behavior at sporting events, comments made about women or racial or ethnic groups by shock jocks on the radio, or the tone set by messages in popular music about relationships and sex.
Often witnesses hold back from intervening in fear for their own safety or hassle they want to avoid, or in fear of making it worse for the victim. Yet there are usually many quiet witnesses who all wish there was a way to help but just don’t know how.
How can you Make a Difference by being a Courageous Bystander?
A Courageous Bystander is someone who takes an active role in promoting a respectful environment, or anyone who does something to safely and responsibly interfere with abusive behaviors, statements, or attitudes. Courageous bystanders do not look away or remain silent when confronted with these things.
Standing up for our values and beliefs may at first feel risky, but it is likely that more people agree with us than we think. By doing the right thing we are showing courage and leadership. Ultimately, we all have a role in eliminating violence/abuse; to do so we must choose not to support abusive or disrespectful behaviors.
There is no one right way to take an active role in setting a respectful tone or intervening when abusive comments or behaviors are happening.
Take Action
Below are some good examples of ways to be a courageous bystander.
- Don’t laugh at inappropriate or sexist jokes, or jokes that are at someone’s expense. Go even further: explain why a joke is sexist and might be offensive to others, and ask the teller to refrain from telling such jokes.
- Use respectful language in conversations. Challenge others when they use disrespectful language.
- Use non-violent means of expressing your disapproval when others behave in disrespectful or abusive ways; for example, the “silent stare” can be very powerful, or talking with the abuser about their behavior can be a powerful eye-opener. Using violence to get your message across may reinforce to the abuser that violence is an acceptable way to get what you want.
- If physical violence is occurring, call 911 for assistance.
- Intervene as a group. There is power in numbers and if many people try to intervene on behalf of the victim, the abuser will typically leave the situation.
- Being a good listener and friend to someone who is being abused is a great first step. It can be powerful for the victim if you express your concerns, provide information to help them understand what an abusive relationship is, and assist them in utilizing helpful resources.
- If you stand up to abuse you will role-model healthy and respectful behavior and show the victim that they are worthy of respectful relationships. You will also show the abuser that their behavior is socially unpopular, uncool, and unacceptable.
Check out these websites
Public Service Announcement Videos
“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.”
- from the movie “The Princess Diaries” (2001)
