Gender Roles & Stereotypes

“When we divide the world into two groups, male and female, we tend to see all males as being similar, all females as being similar, and the two categories of "male" and "female" as being very different from each other. In real life, the characteristics of women and men tend to overlap. Unfortunately, however, gender polarization often creates an artificial gap between women and men.”

- Margaret W. Matlin

What is Gender?

Did you know the sex of your child before they arrived? Were you up to your eyebrows in pink as soon as you announced you were having a girl? Did you decorate your baby’s room with sports items when you found out it was going to be a boy? Would this have changed if you did not know the sex until the baby was born?

As parents, we want to raise healthy children. We make choices for them that will hopefully improve their lives and make them healthy, productive adults. But sometimes the choices we make put them in the gender categories to which Margaret Matlin was referring in the quote above. We put children in these gender categories when we place expectations on their behavior and give them messages about how a girl or boy ‘should’ act.

How Does This Affect Your Teen?

Find out what gender stereotypes are really saying.

By supporting gender stereotypes we are putting our children into categories that are harder to break out of the older they get. As children reach adolescence they receive more and more messages about gender. For example, girls are traditionally pointed toward subjects in school such as english or history while boys are encouraged to excel in math and science. Boys are often told to ‘man up’ and play sports while girls are often encouraged to be caretakers and sensitive.

Take Action

Parents can begin sending healthy messages to their children early on. Here are a few suggestions:

DO:

Be aware of the gender messages communicated by the toys you give your child. Dolls aren't just for girls. Trucks aren't just for boys.
Read your child books that show different gender roles.
Model healthy gender roles in your home. Who says the woman has to fold the laundry?
Men have feelings too! Show your children it’s ok to cry, be afraid, and to worry. (If they see you stuffing your feelings to be ‘strong’ they won’t learn to express their own feelings in a healthy way.)
As your children grow, ask for their point of view and have open conversations about gender roles and expectations.
Encourage both girls and boys to explore what makes them happy whether that is sports, music, science or video games.
Talk to them about different careers. Let them know that there are no limits to what they can do.
Set a standard in your home for what kind of language is unacceptable (put-downs, slang, etc.), hold children accountable, and model respectful gender language in your home.

Most importantly, educate yourself on gender and gender stereotypes. Knowing some basic definitions will help you be better prepared to talk to your children.

Definitions to know:

Biological Sex refers to being categorized as either male or female based on our anatomical parts.

Gender is a psychosocial construct most people use to classify a person as male, female, both, or neither.

Gender Identity is a person's sense of their own gender. Since most people conform to societal gender norms, they have a Gender Identity congruent with their Biological Sex. However, Gender, like sexuality, is fluid and can change over time, in individuals and in society. For some people, Gender Identity, Biological Sex and how they outwardly communicate their gender to others do not correspond with each other.

Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe people who have gender identities, expressions or behaviors not traditionally associated with their Biological Sex. Transgender also can mean anyone who transcends the conventional definitions of 'man' and 'woman'.

Adapted from Gender Education & Advocacy, Inc. http://www.gender.org/resources/dge/gea01004.pdf

Check out the Media Awareness Network for tips on talking to your child about Gender Stereotypes.

Useful Links

http://www.hghw.org
Hardy Girls Healthy Women is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the health and well being of girls and women.

http://www.about-face.org/
About Face's mission is to equip girls and women with tools to understand and resist harmful media messages that affect self-esteem and body image.

http://www.thegeenadavisinstitute.org
The Geena Davis Institute's mission is to "See Jane in Media Made for Kids" -- to have the entertainment industry, parents, and the general public recognize the need for gender balance in the media, as well as eliminating gender stereotyping in entertainment made for children.

http://www.tolerance.org
Mix It Up Program encourages students to “mix up” social boundaries in schools. The parents’ section give advice and information at different age ranges that will help parents raise children with lessons of respect and tolerance.

http://community.pflag.org
PFlag: From Our House to the Schoolhouse offers information and tools for parents and teachers for creating safe schools and responding to harassment and bullying. PFlag stands for "Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays" and they offer a host of supportive resources in addition to the safe schools resources.